501(c)3 Non-Profit | Empowering Haitian Families

Top 10 ways you know you are a white missionary in Haiti.

The top ten ways you know you are a white missionary in Haiti

10. You exchange currency with Syrians in the back of a mini mart on a regular basis

9. You have spiritual moments that revolve around the electricity coming on.
“Thank you Jesus! The lights are on… wait… awe, crap.”

8. You know black people with Polish names.

7. Orphans have given you instructions on how to season a cat.

6. People have smacked your arm just to see the cool colors of your bruises

5. The local band’s instruments are a Tuba, a drum and about 20 short pieces of PVC pipe and bamboo.

4. The black people you know tease other black people for being blacker than they are.

3. You’ve watched a parade that only consisted of 12 people, and it ended in the death of a chicken.

2. The guy who fixes your car makes the parts all by himself from raw materials.

1. You are not sure if people think your name is “Blanc” or “Banm ti cob”

Top 10 ways you know you are a white
missionary to Haiti visiting the United States

10. You have cried in the aisles at a Wal-Mart

9. You know exactly how heavy a 50 lb piece of luggage feels.

8. You feel like you are in Disney Land when you look down a suburban street.

7. You start speaking in Kreyol to the first black person you meet.

6. People ask you, “How have things been going in….uh…. were you in Africa?”

5. You compare the prices at fast food joints to the prices at Epi D’or.

4. You brace yourself for non-existant potholes in the roads.

3. Your body convinces you that you are on Antarctica or the planet Hoth.

2. You have shopping lists for 27 people.

1. You think everybody is named “Blanc” or “Banm ti cob”

  1. this is great!

  2. This is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!

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