501(c)3 Non-Profit empowering the poor in Haiti

Let me be real…

I’m scared today. I usually feel like I could joke my way out of most situation but not today. The word on the street is that I may be in danger. I can’t even tell you how many people every single day that I turn down for work. It is coming back to bite me.
Despite the fact that we have 130 people in our area with good jobs, now I have ten times that many who are mad that it isn’t them.
This week I haven’t had the car. I have been walking with Ember in the backpack and Zebedee and Jackson on each side down my dusty streets with money in my backpack and wondering.. what if? what if today someone is mad enough to do something vindictive?
It isn’t safe and I really don’t know what to do? Close up shop? Ignore it? Get an armed guard.
(I can’t tell you how much I hate that idea).
The self destructiveness of jealousy haunts me. How do I get people to be patient? I know full well that if things progress.. many many more people in our area will have jobs. Will they destroy it before it comes to it’s fruition? I’ve thought about talking to the local pastors and soliciting their help.. I am examining myself too. How many times have I treated another begging face at the gate like a nuisance? It gets so draining day after day… but these people are real people with real kids to feed. And I can’t do anything for them. And now I may pay for it. I can’t even begin to say how discouraging this is….

16 Comments
  1. I can't even begin to give any advice in this situation, but please know that you have another soul praying for you. God bless you and the good work you are doing. I will pray for your safety every day.

  2. The words of Psalm 27 have ministered to me in many fearful situations. I pray God will give you peace today and remind you that the Lord your God is with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9).

  3. praying for your safety, and for the hearts of people around you!

  4. I am praying for you. I admire your courage and devotion. I don't know if the people you listed are adults or children. If they're children, I do hope you can find more adults to walk with you, whenever you have to go out. Wishing I could fix this.

    –Nancy in Boston

  5. I am praying for you, too, my heart is broken for you, your situation and for the people around you. Know that our God is an awesome God, and He has everything in His control, you are in the palm of His hand and no one can take you or your family from His palm. God bless you!

  6. Shelley,

    This post is hard to read I can't imagine living it…thank you for your honesty. The persistent danger of violent crime…kidnappings, death threats and murder mixed with authorities not pursuing justice is a real issue. I know people who have been affected by all three in the last 8 weeks. I pray for vigilance and caution as you and your family live and work in Haiti.

  7. Oh Father! Bring Love for Love casts out fear. You are Love. You are there. God, show yourself strong.

  8. Praying for your safety and your efforts to continue to thrive in Haiti. You have such vision for the future of your community and it is so beautiful to see. I can't imagine how hard it must be to turn people away each day. But it has and will continue to be a joy to see the hope you bring through The Apparent Project!

  9. How awful! We'll be praying for your safety. I hope that the community will open their eyes to see the good you do and have patience for what the AP will eventually become!

  10. We'll be praying for you all Shelley. There are so many, many people everywhere with nothing to do….We have resources here that the people you're ministering to can't even imagine…

  11. we will continue to hold you and your family and the people of Haiti in prayer for safety, peace, hope and love.

  12. Praying for your safety and courage! It's amazing what you are doing to help these people and although you can't help them all – you are doing what you can. 🙂

  13. Love you friend… may God give you wisdom, grace, peace, and protection.

  14. Praying for your safety…

  15. Just remember that God is watching over you. He is the best body guard ever.

  16. Have to post this anonymously – so that the Americans who are so 'behind us' don't come after me. When we first got here, I had to fire 17 people out of 65. I have determined the following: 1. If God indeed placed me here, then He will have to watch my back while I do what He put me here to do. 2. Most of the 'plotting my death' stuff is more bark than bite. 3. I can't feed and clothe all of Haiti, just the ones God places in my care.

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